Need some help?
by DorothyThropp
Summary: Your father hates you. Your sister is ashamed to death. The boy you have a crush on said "his driver saw Green and thought it meant go" when you asked him why he almost drove you over. And your roommate that might be getting your friend later on calls you Artichoke. Welcome in my life.
1. Chapter 1

Need some help?

She's still sleeping. Of course she is, she always is. I'm getting up as quiet as possible. Within 10 minutes I'm ready and I leave. Sick feeling in my stomach and sweaty, already. The classes will start in an hour but I want to be as early as possible to get the best place in the front. Picking up a little breakfast at the cafeteria and then to the library. There's nobody around at this time so I'm alone and I can study in silence. With a book in one hand and breakfast in the other I cross the campus to the library. Walking as quick as possible while reading and deeply concentrated at my book I totally forget to look out for where I'm walking, so of course - typical for me - I'm bumping into someone. 'I'm so sorry.' My book felt on the ground even as my breakfast. I'm kneeling down to get my stuff when his hand touches mine. 'Don't be, I wasn't watching too. Oh.' He sees the colour of my hand and looks up. 'Elphaba.' 'Fiyero.' 'I think you can handle this by yourself.' He says. He stands up and walks away. I throw my breakfast in the first trash I see and I put my book in my bag. Forget about the studying in the library, what just happened was so strange. I never had such a strong feeling before when I touches someone. What in Ozsake did happen?

Whispers around me. "Artichoke, vegetable, grass eater." It are just words, but they hurt. Just focus on what the teacher says Elphaba, like you always do. I'm writing everything down what he says, every single not. 'Ouch!' Someone pulled my hair. They're all laughing. I forget about the pain and focus on my work again. Another pull, harder this time. Ignore it Elphaba, don't get angry. 2 more minutes. I press my nails into my palms, control yourself. Finally the teacher turns around and says everyone can go. As slowly as I can I get my bag and all my stuff. 'Miss Elphaba?' 'Yes?' I almost left the classroom until he asked for me. 'Is everything all right?' Sweet Oz. 'Yes everything is fine.' 'Okay.' I'm free to go, no more lessons today so I just can go to the library and study all day long. Good.

I'm trying to study for almost 2 hours now but I just can't. I keep thinking about this morning, about Fiyero. He didn't come to class, well that wasn't really a surprise. My room mate, Galinda, wasn't there too. So I bet they were together.. But the touching, it was so strange. Link firework or something, I couldn't describe it. It was like magic. No it wasn't. I know what magic was like and this wasn't magic. Maybe it was more like destiny. Like we were meant for one another. But that was impossible, nobody could ever love a green girl like me, never. I had to face the truth. I may have had a crush on him but it's not right, as I said no one could ever love a green girl and he was with Galinda, and they were happily in love. _They_ were meant for each other. I took my books and left the library, a good walk would clear my mind right now. Maybe I could ask Nessa to come with me, at least if she could be one minute without Boq. Let's give it a try.

Nessa had been too busy with Boq so I went alone. Surprise. But I did clear my mind. It was good now, this was our faith and as Morrible promised I would be on the Wizards side once. So I'll be just focusing on my study again and forget about boys, friends - Or no friends, actually - , bullies and annoying roommates. There was nothing wrong with being alone. As long as you used to being alone but the trouble would come if you got friends and you finally know how it would be to be not alone. You would regret all those years you thought it was better to be alone. Don't Elphaba don't make stupid conclusions in your head. It's better to fly solo and free.

Before I went back to my room I got myself some coffee for my late night studying. Galinda would be at Fiyero's so I'd be alone in silence with all my books and my notes. Wizard here I come!

It was already really late when I finally went to bed and just when I almost fell asleep she came in, being drunk of love. She literally felt into her bed and started snoring like a man. Not really charming Galinda. Even when she was sleeping she was annoying. Because I had been taking care of Nessa this long I couldn't let her lay down in bed like that, in her normal clothes, with shoes on and on top of the blankets. So I got out of my bed, took of her shoes, even managed to get her sit and pull of her dress to get her nightgown on, and got her under the blankets where she immediately felt asleep again. 'Why did I even do that..?' I asked myself before I went back to bed again and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Woke up early to avoid my roommate. Got my breakfast at the cafeteria and went for a walk. My notes in my bag, ready to write everything down that I remembered from the lessons before. Thoughts running through my mind about everything. What about Fiyero, Galinda and all the others? And about Nessa and Boq? What if he broke her heart, could she handle that, could Nessa handle that? The time dragon sounded, time to go to the lessons for today. Alert for every single sound around, every single person, every single step I took. But still I didn't see this coming. 'Hey Green one! Vegetable!' Someone screamed. Ignore them. 'Hey Artichoke, you're trying to ignore us? See that guys, she ignores us. She will pay the price for it. I heard once she melt when she gets wet, so she never showers otherwise she would melt.' The noises got louder. The same voice went on, 'And if she never showers, she's dirty. Really dirty. I think it's time to give her a shower guys.' Wait, what!? Shower! I turned around, there was a big crowd standing behind me and out of the back of the crowd two boys with a giant bucket filled with water came closer to me. I was paralysed, what were they going to do!? 'Let's count. 3, 2,' The crowd was counting too, '1!' They swing the bucket back and when it moved forward all the water came out and landed on me. I was totally soaked. My clothes, my hair, my back and my notes. 'Oh look she's soaked, totally soaked but she didn't melt. Must be a spell she caused on herself.' The guy in the front said. The whole crowd was laughing. They were laughing and I was soaked. I looked down at me and ran, ran away from all the people. I never missed one class but this was, sadly enough, the first time. Say goodbye to the future you could get at the Wizards place. I went into the forest at one side of the campus, all I want now was to be alone. I couldn't blame them. I was Green, different, the out stander. They had all the opportunities to bully me. I sat down at the bottom of a giant tree and the tears came. I didn't cry cause they bullied me but I cried cause my future was miserable. This one lesson could destroy my whole future and there was nothing I could do about it. A scream of frustrating left my throat. Why, why had I been so stupid? Why didn't I do anything to stop them!? I cried again but stopped when I heard a strange noise. 'Who's there!?' I wiped my tears away and stood up to defend myself if I needed to. 'It's me don't worry.' Fiyero stepped out of the bushes with his hands up. 'Go away.' I turned around to the tree so he couldn't see I cried. 'Okay if you really want me to leave, I will but I don't think you want me to.' I turned around so he could see my face and my soaked clothes and hair. 'You're totally soaked.' 'Wow quick notice.' I murmured. 'Sorry. I know we're not really friends or something but I never want this to happen to you.' He came closer and took my hand. 'Oz please don't do this. You threat me like nothing and didn't talk to me, ever. Why would you act like this than!?' I pulled my hand out of his and took a step back. 'I.. I don't know. I just felt like coming to you.' He said. 'Go away.' I said and I turned around again. I heard him leave and grabbed my arms around me. Pushing them to my stomach to beat the feeling inside. I can't love him, it's not right.  
Happily there weren't any other classes that day for me. So I went to the library after my clothes dried and studied as much as I could because of the lesson I missed but unfortunately Madame Morrible walked in after I just started. 'Miss Elphaba, can I speak to you for a moment?' She didn't wait for an answer so I packed my stuff and followed her to her office. 'Miss Elphaba, I heard you weren't in your class today. What happened?' I looked down, ashamed. 'I got soaked when I was on my way to the class.' 'Miss Elphaba you know you may not get wet! I'm so glad we used that protection spell on you.' Happily she didn't ask farther. 'Me too Madame. Can I go study now? I have to take all the notes from today right.' I said and I pulled my bag back on my shoulder, 'Of course. I'll speak to you later Miss Elphaba.' I nodded and left, back to the study.


	3. Chapter 3

**First I wanna thank Fea'sFlower for her review :) I'm not a native speaker so I try to do my best ;) **

**And second sorry for not updating but I didn't really feel like writing.. Don't know why. Anyway here's the next chapter, enjoy! **

I had been studying all night but I didn't care about it that much. The more I studied the more I would be able to let them all forget about that lesson I missed. So it was past midnight when I finally went to my room to get some sleep. As quiet as I could I went inside to see there that the bed light next to my roommates bed still was on. 'Where have you been all night?' She asked when I walked in and changed my clothes to a nightgown. 'I was studying. And why do you even care?' I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. 'Cause I was worried about you after what happened today and you were nice to me last night.' I went back to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later. 'Okay. And yes I couldn't let you go to sleep when you still were in your normal clothes. But why should you be worried? Didn't Fiyero say I was fine?' I got under the blankets. 'Yes he did but I still was worried. Elphaba there are people that care about you, and I know you don't want to hear this and certainly not from me, but I do care and Fiyero too. Even as your sister and Boq. And Madame Morrible, I guess but I don't know she's mm I don't know but the others do care. Please Elphaba, try to understand.' Galinda looked at me with her curious sparkly look. 'Okay, can I go to sleep now?' 'Yes of course.' 'Good night Galinda.' I lay down, 'Good night Elphie.' She turned off her bed light but I was more awake than ever that evening. She called me Elphie, that's a nickname. Don't panic now Elphaba, just forget about it now and go to sleep. I tried but it took awhile before I finally felt asleep.

It was weekend so we could sleep a little longer not that I normally slept longer but now to my surprise I did. 'Good morning sleepy head.' Galinda said when I stretch out like a cat. 'Good morning to you too, why are you already dressed up like that?' She was more dressed up than usual. With more sparkling things and more pink, how's that even possible? 'I just thought this dress would be beautiful for today, look how beautiful the weather is!' She said and she opened the curtains. The sunlight hurt my eyes cause I wasn't fully awake. 'Yeah okay the weather is beautiful.' I stood up and went to the bathroom to shower. 'Oh Elphie, is it okay if I call you Elphie? You really should wear another frock today, something a bit more happy perhaps?' Galinda asked when I came out the bathroom. She already opened my closet and started searching through my clothes. 'You have nothing colourful or happy in your closet. We really have to shop!' She said but when she saw my annoyed look she stopped jumping around like a young puppy, 'What's the problem?' 'Well, I don't like shopping and I love my frocks. That's just me.' I picked one and went back to the bathroom to get it on. 'But but but Elphie, you really don't want to shop? Not even one time? Maybe for a party? Please!?' She almost asked it begging. I brushed my hair and put it into a braid. 'I'll think about it.' I packed my bag and left the room with a jumping Galinda again. 'I'm so gonna regret this.' I said by myself when I went to the cafeteria to get breakfast.

Waiting in the queue for my breakfast when he arrived and decided to take the next place in the row behind me. 'What do you eat for breakfast?' He asked and he looked down at my plate. 'Aha I see, healthy food. Good idea.' He got himself an apple, some muesli and yoghurt, a orange juice and coffee too. I tried to avoid and ignored him but he always was there when I was somewhere. 'Please allow me to pay this meal for you.' He said by my surprise. 'And why should I?' 'Cause my friends were terrible to you yesterday and I'm sorry about that.' He said and he paid for both of us. 'Oh okay thank you.' We sat down at a table and Nessa, Boq and Galinda joined us. 'I almost got Elphie to shops with me.' Galinda said with a giggle. 'I said I would think about it.' I said and I had a bite of my apple. 'It's something. You didn't say no.' Galinda said and she giggled again. 'That's true Fabala, you never wanted to shop.' Nessa mentioned and she and Boq got their hands together. Galinda and Fiyero too, and I was the only one single. But the strange thing was that while Fiyero was holding hands with Galinda he didn't even look at her, he was looking at me the whole time. If you speak about awkward situations. 'I have to go, studying. Bye.' I finished my breakfast by grabbing my coffee and forcing to get my pear into my bag, and I left. What did just happen?

It was late in the afternoon when I finished studying again. I didn't take a break around lunchtime so I was really hungry now. I went to the cafeteria again and ordered some soup and a salad. Sat down beside one of the big windows in the front of the cafe and watch the students go out for their free night. But then again he came in. I saw he said bye to his friends we went out and he walked this way, now he came in. Ordered himself some food too and sat down on the other side of the table. None of us said anything, why should we. But this time there wasn't an awkward silent. It felt okay. We finished our meal and ordered some coffee. Still saying nothing to one another. 'You know it's strange how a silence can say more than thousand words.' He surprised me by saying something smart. 'It is, yeah. But what do you think this silence says?' I touched my spoon into my cup and laid my other hand down beside it. 'I think you know what it says.' He brought his hand to mines and laid it above it. He turned them around and followed the lines of my hand palm. My eyes followed his movements clearly and finally went up to his. Our head leant forward and our eyes closed, and then...

The doorbell rang and another costumer came in. We both went back in our seats and I stood up. 'I'll see you later I suppose. Uh.. Bye.' I said and I ran out of the cafeteria, straight to my room. How in Ozname?


	4. Chapter 4

**First, I changed my name haha Maybe you noticed already. Secondly sorry for not updating that much. Hope you all don't mind ;-) **

The next few weeks I avoid him even more than I did before. I barely ate and studied almost every hour of the day. 4 hours of sleep and than waking up again to study. I don't know why I was acting like this but I didn't really care either. Galinda often gave me worried looks and Nessa too. But I always convinced them I was doing fine. One day, when I took a break from studying and taking lesson, and went for a walk, I got dizzy. I sat myself down with my back at a tree, and breathed in and out as clear as possible. 'Elphaba?' A worried voice beside me asked. I didn't respond. I pulled my knees up and laid my head down on them. 'Elphaba, is everything alright?' I knew the voice, it was him. Again. But I just didn't want to speak to him. 'If you don't say anything I'll take you to Morrible so you can explain it to her.' I sighed. 'I'm just dizzy, nothing more.' I said under my breath. 'Galinda told me you barely ate something and you were always studying. Elphaba what's the matter?' 'Nothing,' I got back at my feet and looked him right in the eyes, 'Nothing, Fiyero. Nothing.' I walked away but only a few metres from him I faint.

She said nothing was wrong. She got up, looked him right in the eye and told him again, then she walked away to faint just a few metres further. 'Elphaba!' I screamed and I was just in time to catch her. I lifted her up in my arms and carried her all the way back to Shiz. 'Someone please help!' I screamed when I arrived, running. One of the teachers that was walking outside immediately came to me. 'What happened?' He wanted to know. 'She got dizzy and faint.' I explained a bit out of breath. 'Come this way.' I followed him into one of the buildings. We walked past some empty rooms before we finally arrived at a room with a woman in it. She was sitting behind a desk and when we entered she immediately shot up to me and Elphaba. 'What happened?' 'She faint.' The teacher said. 'Oh okay. Lay her down over here, she needs rest. She'll wake up in a few minutes I guess.' The woman said. She was the school nurse I suggest. 'Can I stay here? Wait for her to wake up?' I asked the nurse when I laid Elphaba down on a bed. 'Why not.' The nurse turned around and told the teacher he could leave, 'She's in good hands now.' After that she went trough some cupboards and she found what she was looking for. 'What's her name, boy?' 'Elphaba.' I said and I looked down at her. Why was she so beautiful? So unbelievable gorgeous? 'Aha I see, Elphaba Thropp. What happened?' The nurse wrote something down. 'She went for a walk, I guess, and when I found her she was sitting at the ground with her back to a tree looking really pale. What's weird cause she's green, whatever, I asked her what was wrong but she didn't respond. Then I said that if she wasn't going to say anything I would bring her to Madame Morrible. She finally answered and said she was dizzy. I asked her what was the matter and then she stood up. Looking furious or something and telling me nothing was wrong. She walked away and after a few metres she faint. That's all I guess.' The nurse nodded and she walked away. After a few minutes she came back with a wet cloth and put it on Elphaba her forehead. 'That's better.'

Headache. A really bad and painful headache. I tried to open my eyes but they felt like I slept for like, well, ever. Only then I heard some voices in the room. 'No but no. That's not Fabala.' That voice, I know that voice. 'I agree. Yes she could study all day and night, that sounds like her but endangering herself by not eating? That's not her, is it?' Another voice asked. A girl too. 'If you say so. But that's what happened, and maybe that doesn't sound like her to you but maybe she doesn't tell you two everything. Just keep an eye on her cause if this happens another time we have to face the consequences.' A third voice said. It sounded more like a woman than like a girl, like the other two sounded. 'Okay.' A fourth voice said. A male voice or maybe a boy. 'Mm.' I murmured and I opened my eyes a bit. 'Look guys, she's waking up!' The last voice said. 'Fabala?' The first voice asked and I realised it was my sister. 'Nessie?' I asked softly.

'Yes it's me. Galinda and Fiyero are here too.' She explained.

I grabbed my head with one hand. Couldn't that stupid headache just disappear. 'Where am I and what in Ozname happened?' I asked frustrated. I really loathed headaches.

'You faint. Fiyero was with you and catch you when you faint. He brought you here. You're at nurse office.' Galinda said while she was hanging above me with her head to see my eyes.

'Okay thanks, I guess. But can I leave now? I really loathe everything that has to do with hospitals, doctors or nurses.' I tried to sit down but immediately two pair hand pushed me down. 'Oz please, I'm not sick. Please stop worrying, thank you!' I said and I sat down again.

'Elphie please, you faint. That's not nothing.' Galinda looked at me with her sparkly eyes.

'No.' I said and I stood up to walk away but got dizzy.

'Be careful, Fae.' Fiyero grabbed me by my waist and carried me back to the bed.

'Stop it. It's not like I'm gonna die.' I said sarcastic. 'I'm just dizzy. It's nothing.' 'The last time you said that you faint, remember. Glin, can you search for a wheelchair?' Fiyero looked at his girlfriend.

'Of course Fifi.' And she left, after she kissed his cheek. 'So the sisters Thropp both in a wheelchair, how ironic.' But when she saw the hurt look in Nessarose her eyes she regret that. 'I'm sorry Nessa, I didn't mean it. Not that way.' Slightly I slide off the bed and kneeled next to Nessa. 'I'm sorry.' I said again and I laid my hand down on her arm, and squeezed it. 'It's okay Elphaba. Galinda and Fiyero will take you back to your room. See you later.' And she wheeled away. She used my full name. I felt awful, again. I let my head down and felt a hand on my shoulder.

'Don't worry, it will be okay.' Fiyero said and Galinda came in with a wheelchair. 'What happened? I saw Nessa wheeling away, sobbing.' Fiyero gave her a shut-up-look.

'Oh no!' I cried out and leant my head on my hands. 'Oh.' Galinda said and Fiyero put his hands under my armpits, and pulled me up into the wheelchair. 'Let's go.' I pulled my legs to my chest in the wheelchair and rest my head on my knees. They wheeled me to my shared dorm room with Galinda. I lay down on my bed and covered my head with a pillow.

'Try to talk to her tomorrow about it. She needs her rest now.' Fiyero said to his girlfriend. 'I understand Fifi, good night.' She said and she kissed him. 'Good night.' Fiyero said and he left.

'Is he gone?' I asked when I appeared from beneath the pillow. 'Yes.' My roommate said. 'Thank Oz.' I grabbed my nightgown and went to the bathroom to change, and brush my teeth. When I got back I laid down under the blankets. 'He isn't that bad you know. Just give him a chance.' Galinda said while she brushed her hair. 'Maybe. Good night.' 'Good night, Elphie.' I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thx for the reviews again! I love reviewssss haha ;) Next chapter! **

'But Elphie please! You have to eat!' 'Don't you dare to say another word about it. I can take care of myself perfectly. I don't need you, Nessa and especially Fiyero not to tell me to eat or to look after me like I'm a little child. I'm fine.' I grabbed my bag from the chair beside my bed and smashed the door behind me shut. Galinda had been worrying about me all morning cause I fainted yesterday. I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm old enough to take care of myself and I know exactly what's good for me and what isn't. I crossed the courtyard and went to my first class. History with Doctor Dillamond. One of my favourite classes. Sad enough Nessa, Galinda and Fiyero where in it too, so I had to avoid them as much as possible. Anyway, my first class today was history - like I said - and my second and last class of today would be sorcery with Madame Morrible. My stream of thoughts get ended when someone took the seat next to me. 'Fae?' It was him. Of course it was. 'Mm?' I murmured, trying to hold my sight on my notes. 'What's the matter?' 'For Oz's sake Fiyero! Why are you all so worried about me!? Everything is fine!' I smashed my notes on the table. 'No it's not okay Elphaba. You look terrible! You're barely eating and look like a zombie. You're shutting everyone out, more then usual. So it's not okay.' He had a point. 'Mind your own business,' Stools and tables began to shake, 'And don't you ever dare to ask me again about any of this. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.' I smashed me notes on the table again and everything was calm again. Happily he didn't ask further but he shared looks with Galinda and my sister, I could see he did. Sigh.

Before the class ended he laid his hand down on my arm and forced me to loo at him. He didn't say anything and so didn't I. I pulled my arm away and took my bag but I didn't walk away. He did, together with Nessa and Galinda. 'Is everything all right Miss Elphaba?' 'Yeah yeah fine.' Dillamond glanced me a worried look and I sighed, again. I walk up to the courtyard, crossed it and went straight into another building. On my right hand there was a music room. I dropped my bag on the top of the piano and took place behind it.

_"It's never where I thought i'd be_

_just shy for months ago_

_does love come with a guarantee_

_a promise that you'll never let me go_

_I've walked through darkness many nights_

_but you're the light that guided me back home_

_it's taken time to board this flight_

_but now I'm here_

_so please don't let me go"_

I let go of the piano keys and took a deep breath. I laid my forehead to the piano and stayed like that for a few moments. 'You have a beautiful voice, you know?' I tilled my head back and looked at the way the voice came from. 'Thanks I guess.' I said and my cheeks coloured. I grabbed my bag and got up my feet. 'Stay, you don't have to go because of me.' 'Oh okay.' So I sat down again with my bag in my lap and all the sudden he came sitting next to me. 'Did you teach it to yourself? The piano thing?' He laid his fingers on the keys and played some single notes. 'Yes I did. It's my way to express my feelings. Fiyero, can I ask you something?' He turned his head and he tilt his head a bit to the side. 'Anytime.' I took a breath and looked at my hands. 'Why do you care about me?' Slowly and softly he grabbed my chin, and turned my head so I was looking at him. 'Cause I love you Fae, I really do.' My cheeks coloured again and I looked in his eyes, his beautiful diamond blue eyes. 'You do?' He leant forward till our noses where almost touching. 'I do.' 'Wait, what!? You and Galinda are together!' I pulled back and walked around the piano so it was in between us. 'Uh Elphaba.' He stood up but I was quicker. I grabbed my bag and started walking to the door. 'It's okay Fiyero. Uh bye!' And before he even could try to stop me, I ran out of the room to Suicide Canal.

Air. I needed air. Lots of air to breath. Totally out of breath I leant to a tree and sat down beneath it. Why does this happen all the time..?

I sat there for a couple of minutes before I realised that I still had another class to take and it will be starting in, '3 minutes!' I got up and ran back to the campus. I crossed the courtyard and arrived totally out of breath, again, just in time. 'Miss Elphaba what in Ozname?'

**So I was listening to Please don't let me go from Scott Alan and that's also the song I used for today's chapter :) Go and check out his music, it's amazifying! **


	6. Chapter 6

Thx for the reviews again. This chapter might be a little.. Mm what should I call it.. Confusing? Weird? Idk.. Wicked maybe? Just be prepared.

I had been studying sorcery all afternoon with Morrible. I explained, a little bit, why I was late and she didn't ask farther. Happily. After we finished I went to the cafeteria for some food, well food.. I didn't eat anything. I just bought it so my friends thought I was eating and they should stop worry about it, finally. So when I was out of their sight I threw it in a trash. I got some coffee to and took that with me to the library where I stayed for the rest of the evening to study again.

It was already late when I stopped and decided to go back to my room. The campus was silent. Nobody was out here on this hour of the day, well except from me. I walked back to the girls building, not really fast cause I was enjoying the peace and coldness that came with the night. I kind of liked the silence and peace that there was at the campus right now. I entered a little tunnel that went from the library to the girls- and also to the boys-building, what was on the other side of the campus. But soon after I entered the little tunnel I heard some voices coming from the other side. I recognised his voice immediately and mumbled something under my breath. The voices sounded drunk and for a moment I thought of turning around and waiting till they disappeared but I didn't want to be afraid anymore, so I took a breath and walked slowly towards the end and to the voices. 'Look it's the Artichoke! On this hour of the day.' Avaric said and he punched his friends in the rips, while all the three of them were grinning at me. I ignored him, them, and walked farther. He surprised me by grabbing my wrist and turning me around. 'Where did you think you were going?' He asked and I could smell the alcohol in his breath. 'To my room.' I said and I tried to pull away but he was too strong. Even for someone drunk. 'No you're wrong.' He said and he pushed me to the wall. A little squeak of pain escaped my mouth. His two friends took over my wrists and pulled them next to my head on the wall. They both blocked my legs with one of them. 'You know Artichoke, for someone Green you're still really hot. I mean you have nice boobs, a bit small but they're nice and your ass is nice too, and small. And I think we could have a lot of fun right now, with or without your agreement.' He grabbed me breast through my dress and I let out a squeak. 'Hands off you, you!' I screamed but I fell silence when someone covered my mouth with a hand. 'Just stay silence and all of this wouldn't take that long, after all.' His hands found his way to the back of my dress and started opening up the buttons. I tried to escape but they were to strong. I mumbled something to the hand on my mouth and tried to scream. 'Just stay silence and still, please.' He grabbed me waist to keep me from moving. His other hand found his way down my body and I hesitated for a moment. 'Aha the Green Bean likes it boys, wanna help me a bit?' The others nodded and another hand found his way down. Luckily they only found their way down and not farther. 'Maybe boys she would like to be kissed too. And won't we like to see her undressed?' The boys nodded again and Avaric leant forward. 'One day you'll thank me for this.' He said and I felt tears in my eyes. My first kiss will always be remembered as an embarrassing. Just like my whole life. Just like.. Me. I realised and before I could stop myself from it the tears were streaming down my face. 'Oh looks she cries. Poor her. Let's forget about the kiss. I still want to have of that dress but as soon as you two let her wrist go she'll run away. Mm I know it.' Avaric said and he ripped her dress in two pieces. And there she was in all her green with only her underwear still on. 'Ugh green. Of course there was more green. I've seen enough boys, let's go.' They pulled off their hands and away their legs, and pushed me to the ground. I could hear their laughing all the way into the boys-building. I pulled up my knees and sat down to the wall. Ashamed of what just happened, I cried my eyes out in silently.

'Elphaba?' A voice asked, coming from the direction where on Avaric and his friends disappeared mere minutes ago. I looked up and wiped away my tears. 'Elphaba?' The voice said again and finally it said, 'Fae?' 'Fiyero?' I whispered with a trembling and terrible sounding voice. 'Oz Fae, they were right about what they did.' He said and I looked at him with a questionable look. 'I couldn't sleep so I decided to go out for a walk but as soon as I left my room I heard Avaric and some of his friends laughing about "the Green-almost-naked-Bean".' He said and he sat down next to me. 'I asked them what happened and they told me everything that they did...' My cheeks flushed red. '... So I went back to my room and grabbed a blanket..' Only now I saw he indeed brought a blanket with him and when he saw I looked at it he carefully got it around me before he moved on. 'And well here we are. Elphaba, for Oz's sake why did you let this happen?' He wants to know and I started at my feet. 'I don't know. To be honest, I really don't know. The only thing I know that I want right now is to go back to my room and sleep.' I said and suddenly I felt so tired. He stood up, 'Shall I carry you back? Or may I carry you back?' He asked and I nodded. I picked me up and carried me to the girls-building and onto our room, and I slowly buried my head in his shoulder. I smelled nice. Something with a beach, I don't know. I opened the door and he carried me into my dorm room. He laid me down on my bed and I curled up in the blankets while he tugged over my own blankets. 'Thank you Yero.' I whispered and he softly kissed my forehead. 'Good night Fae.'

In the middle of the night I woke up screaming and sweating. 'Elphie? What's the matter?' Galinda asked with a sleepy voice. 'I... I just had a terrible nightmare. That's all. Just go back to sleep, I'm going to use the bathroom for a moment, I think.' I was still trembling and I felt really sick. My dad just appeared in my nightmare. First I only was there with the boys, the same things happened, and then all the sudden my farther was standing there. He told the boys what to do while he was looking at me with a look of disgust and proudness. He didn't care about me being ashamed or very scared, he was punishing me for what I did to him and then he gave them his agreement to kill me, that was the moment I woke up. I got up and went to the bathroom to throw some water in my face. 'Elphaba? Why are you not in your nightgown?' Galinda asked from the room and I was indeed not dressed in my nightgown, embarrassing. 'I.. I don't know.' I lied and I went to my closet to get my nightgown. 'Oh okay.' Galinda yawned and she went back to sleep. I laid down in my bed, again, as well and tried to sleep. But I couldn't. I felt terrible cause of that dream and what happened earlier. Maybe I should stay home today or no, I have to go to class, no matter what. So I closed my eyes and tears where streaming down my face again. That's how I felt asleep, crying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thx so much for the reviews again, I really love them! And I love the fact that you all were kind of loathing Averic and you felt sorry for Elphaba ^.^ Thx again! **

**Oh yeah and first of all, I don't know all the lines in English of Wicked, sorry! I do know them in Dutch cause that's my native language haha So forgive me if it isn't the way they say it in English, I'm trying my hardest ;) **

Grief. What and how do you try to express or impress that feeling? The feeling of missing someone..? After all I didn't go to class today. Galinda taught the teachers I wasn't feeling well and had to stay in bed. She also forced Boq to take notes for me. That girl really is a diva. Anyway, because I wasn't feeling "well" and didn't go to class I had time to sleep, think and read. And after I slept for some other hours I sat down in the windowsill and thought about that question. My mom died when I was three and I never really had a period of grief, I think. I was so young and I had to take care of my little sister, and now with all the things that happened I finally found myself sometime to think about everything. Still feeling ashamed of what happened the night before but with my focus on the future, ready to forget about the past. And the first thing on the list of forgetting about the past was my moms lost and the way my dad treated me. There was no need anymore to think about that. I had to look forward if I wanted to meet the Wizard and if I wanted to work for him. So grief. No I never had time for that, and I would never have the time. There will always be that one empty space in my heart where my mom was. No matter what. Then, my dad. He had been awful to me, as Galinda said when I told her about my circumstances. But I was the one that caused him all the trouble. Nessa's crippled, my moms death, all my fault. So his way of treating me was right, after all. Next point. The bullying. Well I was green so they had a reason to bully me, and that was it. It didn't bother. And then as last you had him. Fiyero. Did I love him? No of course you don't! Was the first thought that crossed my mind but what if I did love him? He certainly didn't love me back, how could he!? Nobody could love me! I was done with thinking for so far and got up. Changed into normal clothes and went to class, staying home was nothing for me. I was just in time for History, with my favourite teacher Doctor Dillamond, and Galinda wasn't there yet. Fiyero looked surprised when I walked in, 'I thought you were staying in your room today?' He whispered when I searched for my notes in my bag. 'I was done with staying there, so here I am.' The teacher came in, with his bags? He said something about the fact that Animals weren't aloud anymore to teach and I was like "what!?" but it didn't matter and it didn't really come through what happened. The next moment Doctor Dillamond was dragged away and I almost screamed to Morrible. The new teacher came in and told us about animals and Animals being caught in caches. I was worried about the Lion Cub that was caught and I felt my powers fluttering through my body. 'What are we gonna do?!' I screamed at Fiyero while I stood up to watch the other students from a distance. They were all looking fascinated by the professor and the Lion Cub. 'We?' Fiyero asked insecure. 'Somebody has to do something!' I screamed and I lost the control of my powers. 'What's happening?!' The other classmates, except from me and Fiyero, and the professor where shaking. They lost control of their body. 'I don't know! I got mad and..' I started but it only got worst. 'Don't move. And don't get mad of me!' Fiyero said and he grabbed the cache with the Lion Cub. 'Are you coming!?' He started running and I followed. Leaving our classmates and the teacher behind.

We ran to the forest behind the campus. 'Don't shake him!' I screamed after Fiyero totally out of breath. 'I'm not.' We both stopped running. 'And we can't let him lose anywhere, you know? we have to get him some place safe.' 'I know. You think I'm really stupid, don't you?' He asked and I have him a surprised look. 'Well, not really stupid.' I took over the cache with the Lion Cub. 'Why is it every time I see you you cause some kind of commotion?' He wanted to know. I let out a deep sigh. 'I don't cause commotion. I am one.' 'I'm sure about that.' 'Oh so you think I should have my mouth shut? That I don't know how much easier my life would be!? That I wanted to be this way!?...' 'Hey! Do you ever let anyone else talk?' I stared at my feet. 'No sorry...' 'Thank you.' '.. But can I say one more thing?' I raised my hand with one finger pointing up. 'You could have walked away back there.' He looked at me like I was going insane. 'So?' 'So, no matter how shallow and self absorbed you pretend to be..' 'Hey I happen to be genuinely self absorbed and deep shallow.' I shook my head. 'No you're not. Or you wouldn't be so unhappy.' I could smash my head to a wall or something right now. He looked at me with a hurt look but within seconds that changed. 'Listen, fine. If you don't want my help..' He started walking away. 'No wait, I do.' I grabbed his wrist and just like the first time this weird and totally not understandable feeling came with our touch. We faced each other and I turned away to go over to the Lion Cub. 'His heart is pounding. I didn't mean to frighting him.' Fiyero sat down next to me and I looked up. 'But what did you mean to do then?' 'You're bleeding.' 'I am?' 'He must have scratch you.' Slowly I raised my hand to touch his cheek. 'Yeah or it scratch me, or something.' He looked in my eyes and for one moment there was more than this crazy and weird friendship. 'I.. I have to go. No uh I have to get the Lion Cub safe.' He reached around me and took the cache, and he ran off. I was paralysed for a moment but just for a few seconds, after that I stood up. Wait he had to go the other way..!? 'Uh I have to go that way.' Fiyero came back with red flushed cheeks and he ran past my. I pointed out the direction with my hand before I ran after him, 'Fiyero wait!' But he was gone. And there I was, alone. I sat down underneath a tree with my bag in my lap and my head back to the tree. What did just happen? Why does this happen? Especially after last night. Oz Elphaba you shouldn't be thinking of the past anymore. Not anymore. I stood up and made my way back to campus. Swing my bag around my shoulders and looking at my fingers. Pulling sheets from my long green fingers and not watching the way I was walking. 'Miss Elphaba! Miss Elphaba!' I heard someone scream and I searched for the voice. Madame Morrible was running towards me, well running.. As far as she could run with that dress of hers. 'Madame Morrible?' It slowly started raining on my way back to the campus but I didn't really care about, the main point why I say this is cause she was dragging an umbrella with her and forced me to help it up. 'I have sensational news! I wrote to the Wizard and dearie, he wants to meet you!' 'He asked for me? Personally!?' All the other students were gapping at us. 'I know how devastated you were after what happened to Doctor Dillamond. But so you see, one door closes and another on opens!' She took an envelope out of her dress and I almost did an awful lot liking Galinda squeal. 'Oh Madame I can't thank you enough!' I let down the umbrella and hugged her. 'Be careful dearie, you mustn't get wet.' She took my arm and brought it up so the umbrella was above us again. She touched my cheek and went back to her building. This day was really.. Yeah really what? Remarkable?

**So we all know what happens next, don't we ;) I also found a way to use the English lines yay haha Hope you enjoyed :) And don't worry, Elphaba her past will follow her anywhere mwhihi **

**Ps. This didn't really came out the way I wanted it.. Sigh. **


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